Wow – what a year it has been. This time last year I was wrapping up a season of intense prayer, asking direction for our family. God delivered in a mighty way with a new job opportunity for my husband. This opportunity also brought the need for us to sell our company. The company my family had built, grown and loved for the last six years. God delivered there too. We spent last December hammering out the details to sell our company to the buyer God brought us. We signed it over on December 31, 2013.
I rolled into the new year excited about this new season of our lives, adjusting to having a husband that now travels frequently and tying up loose ends from the sale of our business. (I did all office/clerical/accounting/phone) We quickly made it to summer and I enjoyed the freedom of not working, hanging out with my kids and having little responsibility. Honestly, I often felt like I left a kid somewhere or lost my purse. Not having a phone ringing all the time, payroll to write or some kind of report due was a massive change in the pace of my life. I truly didn’t realize how much I worked until I didn’t work anymore. I also couldn’t have imagined how thrown off course I would be by this change.
The kids went back to school in the Fall and shortly thereafter I cratered. I found myself anxious, sleepless, restless and really just a mess. I couldn’t process how to get out of this pit. It felt like everyone moved on but me. My (now ex) husband had an exciting new job, he was meeting new people, going cool places, the kids had soccer, choir, acting…you get it. Me? I was folding laundry. My doctor said what I was going through was similar to what empty nesters experience. Who knew!?
I had prayed diligently for all this and had it handed to me on a silver platter – but I never really prayed about me and my role. What life would look like for me. God had been stirring something in me for a while, but I just couldn’t put all the pieces together. Truthfully, I keep putting off even thinking about or giving credit to the way I was feeling. Wasn’t I supposed to be enjoying doing “nothing”? While quietly sitting back and eating my bonbons, inside I was welling up with a desire to create, decorate, design and share it. God gently nudged me with a phone call from a friend. A deep restlessness was swirling around in her too. I had been placed on her heart. She had been on mine as well, but I did not act on the whisper to reach out. I needed that call from her. I needed to feel thought of, reassured and just plain encouraged. I’m so grateful for my friend’s obedience to pick up the phone that day. From then on we met frequently to talk and dream, but mostly to pray together. God tied us together through prayer and spoke into our lives daily over this time. I will share more later, when the time is right, about the abundant gift God gave us to confirm our friendship, our purpose and His will in our lives. We were given the neon sign people pray for. It was during this time Hunt & Host was born. The idea was literally given to me in a blink. Within 30 minutes I had bought the domain name, not knowing for sure what it would look like or even be for, but knowing it held purpose.
This term sums up what we do around our house as a family. We hunt for stuff. We hunt for junk, treasures, fun, projects, memories, ideas, meaning and sometimes even deer. We gather around our kitchen to enjoy whatever we come up with over a great meal. It is a definite pattern we have going on. Somehow God transformed our family concept into a blog. I have prayed and thought on this venture for months now. I feel certain this is what God is calling me to at this time. This platform allows me to be creative, to serve, to encourage others, to do all the things I love, use all the gifts He gave me, for His glory. I had to find a way for decorating, junking, creating and the like to have purpose and not just be a hobby, but a ministry. So, here it is! I am overwhelmed with ideas and thoughts that I can’t wait to share.
The overshadowing piece of this story is that this has all been happening in my 39th year. Struggling with turning 40 would be an understatement. This last year or so has brought about major surgery, hormone changes, knee pain (I’m pretty sure arthritis), diminishing eyesight, as well as more grey hair and wrinkles than I care to talk about! I have been dreading turning 40. It has been this looming number hanging out there, waiting for me, like a dog to a bone. Finally, I have come to a place where I am ready to conquer 40. I am confident with who I am, where I am and where I am going. Oh – who am I kidding!??!? I’m still a train wreck! Terrified of putting myself out there…who am I? what if they hate my thoughts? ideas? ME? I don’t have an art degree, know very little about photography, writing was my worst subject in school, I am far from a computer genius, rarely even get on social media, know nothing official about decorating, never have been to seminary…in short I am professional at NOTHING. How is that for a resume? I don’t even know who I think will read this. It might be a blog to nobody. All I know for sure is that none of that matters (which is easier said than done). I’m called to this and I have to heed the call. I know He will hold my hand and walk me through it. So really, I have confidence through Christ.
This new adventure has sparked a flame for me. It isn’t something I could have or would have done at 30. By 50 it will be totally different. So – today is the day, my 40th birthday. This blog is my birthday gift to myself. I am off into a new decade, a new normal, out of my comfort zone completely and over the top excited to see what God has in store. He always has the best ideas.
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